i had a bad time this halloween during my first year at school in california. across the country in queens my friends had another house party. it felt worse than when id spent halloween alone or working. i wanted to go back home or back to the last party. i didnt think about the next halloween because i didnt want to think about staying there for so long. things changed gradually but i was afraid to leave in case they got a lot better all of a sudden like it had in my last year of high school